His Grace Abounds

I’ve been thinking and praying about how to walk through Christmas when my heart is not holly or jolly. I’ve always heard that Christmas is the most difficult time of the year for many people. I can understand that now in a deeper way (which, in a way, is a gift because now I can approach this season with wider eyes of grace; with more compassion for the hurting). The first Christmas 2000+ years ago was not especially holly, or jolly…but it was joyFULL. Overflowing with joy unconfined by the seemingly imperfect circumstances of the manger birth.

Joy is deeper, richer, fuller than the saccharine sweet, plastic-y hollow Santa Christmas. Joy is setting our eyes on the redemption story ahead; a redemption story that is often through thorny paths. The redemption story of how God wants to turn the most evil to the most beautiful. Joy is being surrendered and willing to whatever purposes allow for God’s glory. “I am the Lord’s servant, may it be to me as He has said”. (Luke 1:38) This is where I’m desperately trying to fix my eyes. Through God’s grace, many moments I am able….and when I do, joy is there. When my eyes look down, I always get a text, or an encouraging message, or a phone call to remind me that THERE IS A BIGGER picture here. To “Lift up my eyes to the hills”…that’s where all of you come in.

God inhabits this story, but my story is NOT unique. God inhabits your story, too, as messy and hard as it is. Jesus longs to reveal Himself in whatever brings you heartache this Christmas. Redemption is always coming…fix your eyes there, and the truest joy of Christmas will be full in you, too.

Here are some scriptures and quotes…some “Christmas Comforts”,  that establish my heart in the face of suffering

Philippians  2:7-8

Jesus “emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men.  And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.”

John 1:10-13

“He was in the world, and the world was made through him, yet the world did not know him. He came to his own, and his own people did not receive him. But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God, who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God.”

Hebrews 12:1-2

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,  looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.”

Romans 8:38-39

“For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers,  nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Corrie ten Boom, who survived a Nazi death camp, said “Every experience God gives us…is the perfect preparation for the future only He can see.”

Philippians 3:8, 10-11 (Amplified)

I count everything as loss compared to the priceless privilege and supreme advantage of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord [and of growing more deeply and thoroughly acquainted with Him—a joy unequaled]. For His sake I have lost everything, and I consider it all garbage, so that I may gain Christ,  And this, so that I may know Him [experientially, becoming more thoroughly acquainted with Him, understanding the remarkable wonders of His Person more completely] and [in that same way experience] the power of His resurrection [which overflows and is active in believers], and [that I may share] the fellowship of His sufferings, by being continually conformed [inwardly into His likeness even] to His death [dying as He did]; so that I may attain to the resurrection [that will raise me] from the dead.

John Piper:

When we have little and have lost much, Christ comes and reveals himself as more valuable than what we have lost. And when we have much and are overflowing in abundance, Christ comes and he shows that he is far superior to everything we have.

Our family continues to be overwhelmed with gratitude for the love and support we have received since receiving news of my second breast cancer diagnosis.  It is still difficult to believe that there were only 7 short months since we heard “No Evidence of Disease”.  Cancer is evil and cancer is sneaky.

This new “divine adventure” continues to be a twisty journey.

I’ve felt, once more, like I’m in a waiting room; unable to DO anything (tempering my passion) and unable to FIGURE IT OUT (tempering my desire to analyze).  As uncomfortable as it is, God is teaching me, once more, in the waiting room to “Be still and know that He is God” (Psalm 46:10).  My prayer has been “just enough light for the step that I’m on”, and He has answered by shedding enough light to make it through the next hour; the next day.

God is answering prayers!  In a New Years blog post in 2013, Pastor John Piper has said “God is always doing 10,000 things in your life, and you may be aware of three of them.  Not only may you see a tiny fraction of what God is doing in your life; the part you do see may make no sense to you. There are three granite foundation stones under this confidence: God’s love. God’s sovereignty. God’s wisdom.”

I’ll be sharing how God is working and moving, so we can all give Him, and Him alone, all the glory!  I also want to share these so that YOU can be encouraged that God hears your prayers, and you are a part of the story that He’s writing here!  I believe God wants us to pray SPECIFICALLY and BOLDLY, so we can marvel at the ways He is working through this terrible disease.

An interesting twist — Dr. Stillwell & the folks at MD Anderson do NOT believe I have Inflammatory Breast Cancer (IBC) after all.  I may not have Triple Negative either.  The twist is that we don’t know what I DO have yet.  (I definitely have cancer — believe me, I asked!)  The pathology is being sent off to another lab to “dig deeper” on what the exact biology of this cancer is.  That is critical information which will determine the treatment.  There are parts of this cancer that are baffling to the pathologist at Lexington Medical and Dr. Stillwell.  (Something they have “never seen”).  This confirmed our desire to be seen at MD Anderson, who is on the cutting edge of cancer research.    I don’t know if my treatments will be local or out of town yet.  It does seem pretty evident that chemo will be the first weapon we will use against this disease.

UPDATES & ANSWERS TO PRAYER:

~I have an appointment at MD Anderson!!  Monday, January 9 at 1pm with Dr. Chavez Macgregor

~As much as we would have liked for the appointment to be sooner, it is a blessing because our Christmas plans will stay the same.  We are on a cancellation list in the case we can get in sooner.

~Confirmation in our desire to be seen at MD Anderson

~We were able to reserve rooms at the Rotary House hotel attached to the medical buildings, which will be nice for convenience for this first visit.  It books up quickly so I”m thankful God is working out the logistics

~My repeat scan was Saturday, and the technician said the pictures looked more clear.  The problem was something to do with how my body metabolized the radioactive glucose, which they said sometimes happens with smaller, younger people.  The radiologist will read them early this week and I will get results sometime in the next several days.

~We shared the news with my precious children about a week ago, and although they are very sad it has given us, once more, another beautiful opportunity to rally together as a family.

New Prayer Requests:

~that God alone gets all the Glory through this trial (that people “see through” me to Jesus)

~that God would use cancer to cause His church to ARISE, in Scripture-saturated prayer (more on this to come)

~That the physicians, pathologists at MD Anderson are able to figure out the biology of this cancer and develop a treatment plan to eradicate it

Please continue to pray:
~For sweet memories with loved ones at Christmas; that Satan would not steal any of my JOY at Christmas or in the weeks ahead
~For God’s miraculous healing of my body
~Pray for Dr. Chavez Macgregor  (my new oncologist), that she would be a Christian; who seeks and knows God and prays with me; also praying BOLDLY that the oncologist would be one that supports fighting cancer with nutrition in addition to the “medical weapons”
~proper diagnosis & effective treatment plan
~pray for continued self control in my new “battle diet”
~Hope, Peace, & Joy in the midst for our family (“Team Turner” and my parents, sister, aunts, grandmother, in laws, etc) as we continue to process this news
~That my children – Samuel (age 6), Selah (age 6) and Hannah (age 4) are wrapped in a cocoon of grace and they would not feel the harmful effects of this journey; but only see the good that is coming out of it
~pray for Justin, my husband, for perseverance as my closest companion and “earthly rock” on this journey
~To glorify God through this trial
~praying for people to come to know Jesus through this; beauty from ashes

I don’t think I could ever say it enough, but THANK YOU for your prayers, love, and words of encouragement.  Although I have not been able to respond to each one, I have read every single text, comment, and message on social media.  Each one encourages my heart and God uses those words to give me strength.

I recognize that I’m not the only one walking through a season of suffering right now.  I pray that whatever you’re walking through, remember that God is using suffering to do 10,000 things in it, and through it, in your life, too.

“Team Turner”, Thanksgiving 2016

 

THANK YOU, for following my “divine adventure” through breast cancer again. {CLICK HERE to read about my divine adventure through breast cancer a second time} I continue to draw much strength from your words of encouragement. I must say, and will continue to say — all glory to God. This is HIS story, and the prayer of my heart is that you would “see through” me and see Him. I’m simply His chosen instrument.

Yesterday was a day of twists and turns, as I met with my current oncologist, Dr. Stilwell at Lexington Oncology.   I returned home and my head was spinning with all that we heard, which only produced more questions than answers.  I had to fight for joy last night, but after a good night’s rest (thank you Lord), His mercies are new this morning. 

What we learned yesterday:

Yes, there are more questions than answers at this point.  If I let my mind run away with me, I would get so overwhelmed.  I remind myself of the truth (and others remind me) that GOD knows the answers.  He’s a good good Father.

My job: TRUST HIM.  

“Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God.” Psalm 20:7

The children shoved closer, unbothered by the sticky wet flour-caked countertops.

A familiar wave of anxiety started to rise within me.  This was supposed to be fun. I knew this moment (in theory) was precious, but in that tiny kitchen, the moment didn’t FEEL especially precious. It felt chaotic.  Honestly, it felt a little stressful.

The littles were helping me make surprise cupcakes for daddy’s birthday, but mostly we were making a mess.

In the midst of the madness, I took a couple of pictures to document our day.  The moment captured, a slice of life frozen in time on my iPhone.

Today, as I look back on those memories from 2 years ago with a smile, all I feel is grateful.  Time smooths the rough edges of reality.

It’s hard to be grateful in the midst of the mess.

What if, in the middle of messy moments, we could look past the mess, and look into the memory?  What if we could appreciate the worth, without the passing of time?

Thankfully, with three little ones, I’ve had many opportunities to practice the habit of seeing past the mess into the memory.  Life brings many opportunities to practice gratitude when it’s not my natural go-to response.  I’m learning gratitude is a discipline and habit I can grow in with practice.

I’m learning that  gratitude is possible in the midst of the mess by looking through the mess to the memory.

Cultivating gratitude in the middle of the mess means changing how we see; a change in perspective.   It’s changing HOW we see, and WHAT we see.

Instead of the mess on the hands, it’s seeing the tiny fingers that will never be that small again.

Instead of the sticky countertops, it’s seeing the kitchen where I cook dinner to nourish my family, and the memories we have around the table.

It’s looking at the moment as we will look at it when days have passed, and time has smoothed the sandpaper grit of the present.  It’s intentionally looking for the beauty that we will remember in the middle of every mess.  Sometimes we just need a new way of looking.

This week many of us will make precious memories with loved ones.  But as we gather together, there is mess all around us.  Our country; our world is in a bit of a mess. And really, we’re messy people.

Friends, let me encourage you to not let the negative political atmosphere seep through the cracks of your Thanksgiving celebration.  There is much to divide us, but let’s look through the mess to the memory.   Gratitude has the power to change us, as we fix our eyes on the gifts and the giver of every blessing.

Imagine, if, just for a day, we could see all that is RIGHT.

Imagine, if, we could “Set our minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.” (Col 3:2)

Snap a photo, capture the faces of the family and friends you hold dear.  Without a doubt, someone will look on that photo with a smile – one year, ten years, fifty years down the road.

Even, if just for a day, let’s choose to believe that there is beauty here, in the midst of the mess.

A few favorite of my favorite memories from Thanksgiving past.  When I snapped these, most of these moments were messy, imperfect moments. But there was SO much beauty there. 

2010

I love making Pumpkin Praline Cheesecake on Thanksgiving

2012

2013

2013

2014 with Grandma Cleo – on her last year with us here.

———————-

Free Gift 

To help you cultivate gratitude in your hearts and homes this Thanksgiving, I have designed a pdf printable  with 12 Questions to ask around the table this Thanksgiving. Print it out, put the questions in a basket and have each family member draw one.  Then watch and be amazed as God changes your heart through gratitude.    I offer this gift to my email subscribers, to thank you for connecting with me through email.  If you’d like to join my email list and receive this gift, you can enter your information in the sidebar. New subscribers will also receive my Prayer & Gratitude list printables.

To receive the free, full size “12 Questions to Ask This Thanksgiving” pdf, please join my email list, to the right. 

Over the past several months, I’ve been working with Julie Ross Design on creating my new online home.   Today, as I launch my new website, Brooke A Turner, I would like to say welcome, friends!  I hope you will make yourself at home here, and return frequently.   I highly recommend Julie if you are looking to build, upgrade, or grow your WordPress website!

My desire is to Encourage You to Encounter God in your days, not just your Sundays.  I write from a position as a sister on the journey, not an expert, and I’d love for you to join me on the journey to see and experience God in the midst of daily life.

You see, I’ve been desperate to encounter God on the highest mountain, and in the darkest valley. Over the last decade of my life, God has walked with me through infertility, three children in 19 months, birthing a ministry, and breast cancer.  (Click here to read more about my cancer journey).  I write as an overflow of what God has done in my life during these seasons of pain and joy; hands-empty and hands-full.

Through this new blog, I will help you encounter God in your days by:

~ Joining you on the journey to CONNECT to God through HIs Word

~ Resourcing you to CONNECT your story to His Story and

~ Inspiring you to CONNECT with others on the journey.

I pray that God will use this blog as an instrument of grace in your life!

———————

Join my email list to receive weekly encouragement right in your inbox! It’s easy! Simply fill out the information in the sidebar.  I promise to never scam you, at least not on purpose!

As way to thank you for connecting with me, I’ll email you the link to download my custom designed Prayer and Gratitude List printables.  

These resources will help you connect your story to His story, as you see God’s fingerprints through your daily life.