His Grace Abounds

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Brooke’s Facebook post from 1/14/20

January 14, 2020 by Brooke ·
Image may contain: 3 people, people smiling, people sitting, child and outdoor

I realize it has been quite a while since I’ve shared an update on my health.
I wish I had news of a “Healing Christmas Miracle” to share, but today, I don’t.

After about a year stable scans, recently I’ve had a number of scans that reveal the cancer is growing and spreading. Throughout the fall season my treatment was changed a few times and I “failed” each one (meaning it wasn’t working).

The Fall season up until now has been hard. I’ve dealt with almost constant nausea, lack of appetite, weight loss, fluid build up in my lungs (which requires two times getting it drained), shortness of breath, and extreme fatigue. In addition to this, one of the tumors in my chest wall is putting pressure on the vagus nerve, paralyzing my right vocal chord and therefore I lost most of my voice. I had surgery to try to correct this but it was not as successful as expected so it takes great effort to talk above a whisper.

Most recently, CT scans show the cancer continues to grow and spread and now I have a few small lesions on my liver and a new spot on my lung. Fluid continues to build, and in the near future I will have an aspira drain surgically implanted so I can drain fluid from around my lung at home.

My care team (including my oncologist from SCOA and MD Anderson) are working together to determine what should be next; researching trials and looking high and low for something that can help.

Through it all, it doesn’t make sense, but I do have a DEEP PEACE. I’m not claiming I haven’t cried and grieved this news along with my children and family, but my soul truly is at rest with what the next day, week, month and year bring.

God has given me promises that are the same yesterday, today, and forever. Elisabeth Elliott shares in the book “Suffering is Never for Nothing”, regarding her grief after tragically losing her missionary husband: “..I didn’t need to worry about the next fifty years, which is a temptation for anyone who’s lost someone they love. You think “well, I guess I could make it through supper tonight but not real sure about tomorrow or next week”.

I so relate to this- as God’s “manna” of grace – His provision shows up for me just like it did for the Israelites each day- I’m strengthened to make it through morning craziness, then lunch, then homework, then dinner.. then the next day. I’m trying hard to focus on today and not “peer around the bend”.

This nearly 5 year cancer journey has taught me (and I still am learning much) that there is a tension I constantly I deal with when praying. I pray for a miracle-for what seems impossible with man, as our Savior instructs us to do. I also pray, as our Savior did, “Thy will be done”- in surrender to His plan and belief that He will be my companion through whatever happens.

So many prayers for a healing miracle have been lifted before the Lord by you all and I am so thankful for every one. I join you, my children and family join you as we also pray for a miracle every day.

What the Lord has impressed on my heart is that as we pray and look for the “big” miracle, sometimes we fail to see the seemingly smaller miracles that God does- those we don’t even pray for. And who are we to measure the miracle? We have such limited perspective.

On Sunday, my sister and I had some cherished time together to do our favorite thing- sit in a quiet room with bibles and journals and books surrounding us, as we read a little, journaled a little, and talked a little. We recounted miracle after miracle of what God has done in and through our family. As my friend Courtney reminds me “don’t miss the good”.

On the days that feel dark, and I’m tempted to throw a pity party, all I have to do is recount the Lord’s blessings and miracles over these months. There’s no way I can sink into a pit when I’m thanking God for His blessings— all of the Spiritual blessings through faith in Jesus, my precious mother who is the perfect nurturing caregiver for me and Lolli to the children, my dad and the Fishers and aunt, and Justin’s parents who step in, our amazing babysitter Hope who truly is like family, my dear friends who surround me and hold my arms up when I’m weak, our Church family, and Ben Lippen family ….. so many more I could mention.

I’m trying hard for heavenly perspective- although we have not yet received the “big healing miracle” that we’ve been praying for, we’ve been blessed with countless other miracles that we praise the Lord for. We are trying hard not to miss the good.

The children are processing it as healthily as can be expected. I have been honest with what we know up to this point- not sharing every “what if” but just sharing what we know now. Their prayers for me warm my heart and I love when they remind ME to pray before our family time, and I am hearing more and more maturity in their prayer. Thank you for continuing to pray for their hearts. I am comforted knowing that adversity produces character, but as a mother, I sure wish I could take the hurt away.

This journey has been so mysterious. This quote from Paul Tripp’s “New Morning Mercies”’today was exactly what I needed to read:

“Real, sturdy, lasting peace, peace that doesn’t rise and fall with circumstances, isn’t to be found in picking apart your life until you have understood all of the components. You will never understand it all because God, for your good and his glory, keeps some of it shrouded in mystery. So peace is found only in trust, trust of the One who is in careful control of all the things that tend to rob you of your peace….You need to remind yourself again and again of his wise and loving control, not because that will immediately make your life make sense, but because it will give you rest and peace in those moments that all of us face at one time or another- when life doesn’t seem to make any sense.”

Please forgive me in advance for not answering questions or responding as my energy is so limited and I’m choosing to limit my screen time. Also thanks so much for your comments and encouragement to me- I do read every message and I’m still astounded by your love for me and our family!

“My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” Psalm 73:26

“You either believe God knows what He’s doing or you believe He doesn’t. You either believe He’s worth trusting or you say He’s not. And then, where are you?” (Elisabeth Elliott)

Filed Under: Brooke's Personal Facebook ·

Brooke’s Facebook post from 12/24/19

December 24, 2019 by Brooke ·
Image may contain: 11 people, including Brooke Arnold Turner and Elaine Arrington Arnold, people smiling

Our family has seen its share of ups and downs in 2019, but what I want to remember most is how we’ve witnessed God’s unfailing and sufficient grace.
.
“For from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace” John 1:16
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Merry Christmas from the Arnold, Turner, and Fisher families ❤️ 

Filed Under: Brooke's Personal Facebook ·

Brooke’s Facebook post from 12/20/19

December 20, 2019 by Brooke ·
Image may contain: 4 people, including Brooke Arnold Turner, people smiling, flower and plant

A Christmas Amaryllis gift from a dear friend @courtallen in bloom. Thank you for reminding me through these bright, red blooms that there are rare and beautiful treasures that grow when it’s coldest.
…
“Amaryllis” by Christy Nockles
Talk about a winter
The world had never known,
Talk about a silence
That hardened up the soil;
No more life left in Eden,
But You knew the time would come…
‘Cause You were growing up a family
That You would call Your own,
And through a fragile people
The Light of Life would come,
And when it seemed like we’d never see Spring,
Heaven gave a King!

Like an Amaryllis, blooming at Christmas,
When everything was cold and dark
Your love broke through and You shined
With the brilliance of summer,
Right in the middle of winter!
You came surprising the night,
Like a Christmas Amaryllis…

Here I am waiting
In a winter of my own
If it’s gonna be this cold here
Why couldn’t it just snow?
At least I could say through the pain
That it’s somehow beautiful…
And everybody knows that the time to bloom is spring,
But You’re asking me to break through the hardness of this freeze
And You say that You’re with me
And I can make it through anything….

Like an Amaryllis, blooming at Christmas,
When everything is cold and dark
Your love breaks through and I shine
With the brilliance of summer,
Right in the middle of winter!
Somehow surprising the night
Like a Christmas Amaryllis…

There are the rare and beautiful treasures
That grow when it’s coldest
When nobody’s watching…
Sending a message to a sleeping world
That You are here with us now
And You are making all things new again…

Like an Amaryllis, blooming at Christmas,
When everything is cold and dark
Your love breaks through and You shine!
With the brilliance of summer,
Right in the middle of winter!
Ever surprising the night,
Like a Christmas Amaryllis
You’re still surprising the night
Like a Christmas Amaryllis…

Filed Under: Brooke's Personal Facebook ·

Brooke’s Facebook post from 8/26/19

August 26, 2019 by Brooke ·
Image may contain: table, plant and indoor
No photo description available.
Image may contain: text

I’ve been reflecting a lot on what it looks like for me to be a Christ-Exalting , young widow, mother of three children, and stage four cancer -fighter. I needed a new vision to wrap around these days to remind me that there is so much purpose even here, and God wants to use every part of this journey. But it has been a struggle as a majority of my weeks I feel pretty rotten because of chemo. Lately I see buds of life that darkness once smothered. I don’t want to “shrink back”, but be a vessel to show the surpassing greatness of Jesus Christ.
…
My question: “how can I be the fullest, most God-centered, Christ-exalting, Bible-saturated, loving, humble, mission-advancing, justice-seeking, others-serving person I can be in this current season, within these set of circumstances.”
…
No doubt, called to serve, love, and set an example of faith with my three children and the Fisher children. And beyond that- opportunities to share the true Hope of Christ with groups of women. My heart swells studying theology and the Bible, and to work to help it make sense to others (as others further down the line helped it make sense to me.)
…
I am thankful for these few moments in chemo to process these thoughts. I’m being VERY careful and prayerful with every commitment and every “Yes”. This is an especially sacred season as I continue to heal and rest and look ahead to the next season.

Filed Under: Brooke's Personal Facebook ·

Brooke’s Facebook post from 8/25/19

August 25, 2019 by Brooke ·
Image may contain: 5 people, including Brooke Arnold Turner and Justin Turner, people smiling, people standing

One year ago our lives were forever changed after Justin went for a long Saturday bike ride and never came home. Justin Turner was an incredible man of God, husband, daddy, son, uncle, brother, and friend. To know him was to love him. From the moment I met him in 2003 on my parents porch, it was him….He was my person and my earthly rock. I’m thankful the Lord gave me the gift of Justin for almost 15 years- 13 of those married. I’m thankful for the great love we shared and the memories the kids and I have. Most of all I’m thankful that Justin is with Jesus and we will see him again. We grieve the deep loss, but we grieve with hope. #rememberingjustinturner

Filed Under: Brooke's Personal Facebook ·

Brooke’s Facebook post from 5/24/19

May 24, 2019 by Brooke ·

This is a bittersweet photo.
…
Bitter because we are missing one of Team Turner.
…
Sweet because we made it through the 2018/2019 school year only by God’s grace.
…
Those early days in early September ‘18 after Justin died were awful. A seasoned educator told me she had walked with other students through the loss of a parent and that I just needed to expect a horrible school year. And it was horrible at first, but God brought the right people into our lives (counselors, tutors, therapists, mentor friends) and our family & close friends surrounded us with help and love, and week by week we saw improvement. And today I’m celebrating – not claiming we don’t still have difficult moments and days; and we are still deeply grieving (some days the emotions are more raw than others)… but we made it this far, and that’s worth celebrating.
…
“Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Shen and called its name Ebenezer; for he said, “Till now the LORD has helped us.” 1 Samuel 7:12 #hisgracestillabounds #godyouarefaithful
#theendisgood

Filed Under: Brooke's Personal Facebook ·

Brooke’s Facebook post from 5/18/19

May 18, 2019 by Brooke ·
Image may contain: 6 people, people smiling, child

Love this picture my sister posted. It pretty well sums up life with six children in #teamturnerfisher. : ages 9, 8, 8, 7, 7, & 6 😊
It’s impossible to look at this and not smile, and remember we are so blessed to do life together- even in the really hard. I love the car rides home from school with all six. We have a system going now so they no longer argue over which seat is theirs (it took the whole school year to figure out). These six are all so different, and I love hearing their unique perspectives on life. these are just the normal bits of daily life that are easy to overlook… But I’m asking God to help me not miss the good. ❤️

Filed Under: Brooke's Personal Facebook ·

Brooke’s Facebook post from 4/21/19

April 21, 2019 by Brooke ·

April 21, 2019~
Resurrection Sunday, our first Easter without Justin, and the 4 year anniversary of my cancer diagnosis. Christ is my only Hope; and He is a living Hope. It is how I can say through it all, He is faithful, and I am confident that the end is good. My heart aches as I look at this photo, so wishing Justin was standing with us. Some days are harder than others, but I can honestly say He has provided all I need to face each day, and I know we will see him again. “Because He lives, I can face tomorrow. Because He lives, all fear is gone. Because I know He holds the future. And life is worth the living just because He lives “

Filed Under: Brooke's Personal Facebook ·

Brooke’s Facebook post from 4/20/19

April 20, 2019 by Brooke ·

Thoughts on this Holy Saturday-
The day that so many thought all hope was lost and they saw no signs of hope.
Last night wasn’t perfect but it was still precious-
After driving home 9 hours in lots of traffic yesterday, we finally got home around 5:30pm- much later than I hoped or expected. I still wanted to make the 7:30pm Good Friday service at our church, but wondered if it was the best choice, considering the children were exhausted from the week and being in the car for so long. But as we started talking about it, Sam firmly said he wanted to go to church, so we hurriedly changed clothes, ate dinner and headed to NEPC. They were antsy and tired, but my heart swelled as I heard their voices lift in worship- one child louder than the others. And that same child leaned over to me as the Pastor shared about the gospel and whispered “Mommy, am I going to Satan”? And I turned to her, and whispered- “do you trust in Jesus alone for your salvation?” And she said yes- and I said “you belong to God. You are His child and you will forever be with Him”. I never want to forget that moment. And a few minutes later the Pastor asked- “Is Jesus precious to us”? And she said “yes!”, and looked at me and smiled, with her eyes sparkling.
A few moments later, it became evident that we needed to leave early- already an hour past bedtime, we were all exhausted from our week and our full day of travel and we scooted out a little early. On the outside, our evening looked imperfect…but I’m so thankful that God gave me that precious window into my child’s heart. I’m so thankful that Sam insisted we go to church when it would have been easier to stay home and get to bed early. But most of all I’m thankful for the cross- that Jesus did the ultimate hard thing for the joy set before Him. I pray His example continues to spur us on as we face hard things that look imperfect on the inside; but we press on believing there is hidden treasure within. #hisgracestillabounds #theendisgood

Filed Under: Brooke's Personal Facebook ·

Brooke’s Facebook post from 3/12/19

March 12, 2019 by Brooke ·
Image may contain: 3 people, including Brooke Arnold Turner, people smiling

I’ve shared before, but worth sharing again- a prayer I’ve prayed so often to refocus me on Gospel truth in overwhelming parenting moments. I pray this encourages someone today.
…
A prayer for Gospel Parenting, by Scotty Smith

Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchman stays awake in vain. It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives to his beloved sleep. Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Ps. 127:1–3

Heavenly Father, it is a liberating joy to address you today as the architect and builder of your own house—including the household of faith and our children’s place in your family. No one loves our children more than you. No one has a greater investment in their future than you. No one can teach us to parent them like you.

As I look back over the years of my pragmatic parenting, I’m saddened, for there have been consequences. But I’m also gladdened, for you’ve always been faithful to your covenant love, even when I was overbearing and under-believing. The move from parenting by grit to parenting by grace has been a fitful, but fruitful journey. Take me deeper; take me further.

You’ve rescued me from parental “laboring in vain”—assuming a burden you never intended parents to bear. Father, only you can reveal the glory and grace of Jesus to our children. Only you can give anyone a new heart. You’ve called us to parent as an act of worship—to parent “as unto you,” not as a way of saving face, making a name for ourselves, or proving our worthiness of your love.

Oh, the arrogant pride of thinking that by our “good parenting” we can take credit for what you alone can graciously do in the lives of our children. Oh, the arrogant unbelief of assuming that by our “bad parenting” we’ve forever limited what you’ll be able to accomplish in the future.

Oh, the undue pressure our children must feel when we parent more out of fear than faith; more out of rules than relationship; more out of and pride than patience; more out of comparison than covenant; more out of threats than theology. Forgive us. Free us. Focus us.

Father, since our children and grandchildren are your inheritance, teach us how to care for them as humble stewards, not as anxious owners. More than anything else, show us how to parent and grandparent in a way that best reveals the unsearchable riches of Jesus in the gospel. We want the gospel to be beautiful and believable to our children.

Give us quick repentances and observable kindnesses. Grant us confidence that you can redeem our past parental failures. Convict us quickly and surely when we don’t relate to your covenant children, “in line with the truth of the gospel” (Gal. 2:14). So very Amen we pray, in Jesus’ faithful and powerful name.

Filed Under: Brooke's Personal Facebook ·
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