From a Sister’s Heart

On the drive down to Hilton Head a few weeks ago, I got one of the most special emails that I have ever received.  The email appeared in my inbox in a moment that was, shall we say, “less than calm”.  With three littles under five I’m sure you can imagine we have our fair share of those moments.

I got one line into this email,  as tears welled up in my eyes, and I knew I just had to wait.  These words felt too weighty to be read during a backseat squabble over whose turn it was to choose the next movie on the DVD.  

So, I saved it.  

Late one night, after the children were nestled in their beds, and Justin was watching something interesting on TV (which did NOT interest me ;)…I grabbed a tissue (smart), re-opened the email and started reading. 

My beautiful sister had written me the most beautiful words and prayers.  It was, I could tell, therapeutic for her, and writing was helping her to process the emotions of being so many miles away in Houston while finding out her sister has cancer.

She has agreed to allow me to share some of her beautifully transparent writing.  What I think you will find are emotions, thoughts and feelings that span beyond sickness; beyond sisters.  

I thank you for your continued prayers.  I’m still feeling weak and having a hard time tolerating food.  Please pray I regain my strength soon.  

I trust you will be blessed as I share these prayers “from a sister’s heart”.

You may want to grab a tissue.  (or maybe that’s just me!)

Written by Liz Fisher:

4/26/2015

Two days ago was my ‘baby’s’ 2^nd birthday.  I woke up agitated because I had to choose between and important work call and being with my son when he woke up on his birthday.  An hour later of trying to be half-present on the conference call and half-present for my baby’s birthday breakfast, I gave up and broke down.

Running to my closet (every woman’s safe haven – right?) I cried tears for the chaos of our lives, sweet moments with my children that have to be shared with a demanding career.  At that moment in time, my world felt like it was crumbling.

Four hours later, I was in tears again…Wishing that I was crying over morning chaos and stressful work situations.  This ‘crumble’ couldn’t be fixed by a cup of coffee or 10 minutes of closet cool-down time.

News from a loved one.  Cancer.  A word that has always been sad in concept, because that’s all it had been to me before.  Now this concept had taken residence in my best friend.  My sister.  A strong woman of God who was encouraging and comforting me while she told me about her tough journey ahead.  I didn’t – don’t – know how to mourn, what to mourn.  So for now I am mourning the fact that I am not there to fight this battle with her.  So all I can go to now is prayer.

Yesterday (4/25) my specific prayer was that your biggest source of anxiety become your biggest source of strength.  You shared that your biggest worry was how this would impact your children and your husband.  I can feel that being in the same crazy phase of life as you.  I prayed that the immeasurable love that your husband and children have for you will become an overwhelming source of strength and encouragement for you, and that you will see your children and husband (and sister!)  increasingly lean on the Lord for patience and perseverance.

I introduced Reagan to cancer Friday night.  She comforted me and reminded me that it was okay, God would heal Aunt Brookie.  I often think children are much wiser than many of their actions show.  As I sit confused over the right way to mourn, how to feel, what to say, my daughter reads, interprets, and simplifies what’s on my heart:  “Mommy, I wish Cancer was a Legend, because I don’t want it to be real.”  Me neither, Reagan.

Today (4/26) I prayed my specific daily prayer at the snack-table with my two sickies (Lainey and Max).  Before heading to church, Reagan (in one of her wise-beyond-her-years moments) said “Mommy it’s not fair that Lainey and Max will be better soon, and Brookie has to be sick for so much longer.”  That’s right, it’s not fair.  As we battle the longest stomach flu our home has ever seen, it’s still minimal compared to the long journey ahead for you.  So our snacktime prayer this morning was that God will heal you FAST and make this a SHORT journey.  I prayed that God would serve whatever His purpose is in this, but that He does it QUICKLY so the word cancer can be something to stow away in the past.