My journey with the Lord is recorded in 33 journals that sit in my closet. As I see these journals each day, I remember the joys and sorrows through which the Lord was faithful. I see several infertility journals. I see the brown one with flowers when I found out i was pregnant with twins. I see the 2011 journal when I was pregnant with Hannah- and there’s the breast cancer diagnosis journal, and now there is the “Justin’s death” journal. Each journal holds prayers, joys and challenges, celebration and sorrow. And the Lord is writing His redemption story through them all.
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Today I started a new journal. It has a tree on the front that looks like fall, so I figured it was a fitting choice for this season. The first day of a new journal is always a big deal for me, and I always take a moment and write a prayer to the Lord to surrender the days ahead to His perfect plan… declaring once more that whatever joys and tears chronicled in this new journal, I trust Him.
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The last journal I started on August 21, 2018, four days before Justin died. It is a bright pink journal with the word “Hope” stamped on the cover; A journal gifted to me by a dear friend and mentor. Reading the entries on the days leading up to Justin’s death have been so faith-building, as I see how the Lord was preparing my heart for what was to come. Through His Word, He began giving me an even greater eternal perspective, and eyes to see the vapor that this life is. The unexpected twist in the story- He was preparing me to stay here and grieve Justin’s death- not the other way around.
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We cannot understand the mind of God. He gives us just enough light for the step we are on, while keeping the long path forward in the dark. I would have never imagined this is the way this story would be written. But when I look back and see His faithfulness through these 33 journals, I am reminded that He is faithful still, even when The future is so uncertain, BUT He is the author of this story, and I’m trusting today that His story is good. It’s still so very hard, but He grants grace for every moment. #hisgraceissufficient
#nomatterwhat #hisgracestillabounds #theendisgood #godyouarefaithful
